


Drafting a Rose

by Kaio



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fainting, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Texting Conversations, Unrequited Love, Vomiting, jeremy is a disaster bi, jeremy is dense, no beta we die like men, pro drafts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28676319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaio/pseuds/Kaio
Summary: Jeremy develops a nasty habit of coughing up petals. He spends too much time in denial before finding out the source of the petals has to do with unreturned feelings. In the midst of his dilemma, Jeremy is drafted to a Pro team, causing even more issues.
Relationships: Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau
Kudos: 20





	Drafting a Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly most of the writing of this was a nano fever dream. I just re-read it for the first time since finishing it and it was a surprise to even me lol.

Jeremy glances over at Jean, like he does every day that they exist in the same space. Part of him checking on the other man, part of him just watching. He was reading a book, it resting on the armrest of their too-small dorm issue sofa, and every once and a while he would smile just so at the page before moving on and letting a peaceful expression relax his face. Jeremy found him mesmerizing to watch; to see the true look of calm on his face after months and months of Jean looking less than healthy or happy. It was nice to see a glimpse.

Suddenly he thought he was going to be sick, the feeling of bile rising in his throat, tickling the back of his tongue. He tried to swallow it down but with every effort it seemed like the force grew greater until Jeremy was running to the bathroom to hug the toilet. He shut his eyes, trying to prevent any splash back from the torrent that was sure to come out, but after several heaves he felt like he came up dry. His throat burned like he had swallowed nettles, and when he glanced into the toilet he saw nothing but a single petal. He couldn't remember eating a flower and shrugged off the occurrence as a fluke.

Jeremy walks back to the shared common area and sits on the other end from Jean on the couch. Jean raises an eyebrow just slightly but doesn't ask any questions before turning back to his book.

The first time can be written off as a fluke, the second time Jeremy becomes a little concerned. Jean had just bro-tapped is helmet, a big smile on his face after they made a great play together. Jeremy could feel the tickle in his throat before his coughing fit started. He waved off the concern as he literally hacked up a few petals. He stared at them a moment before crushing them into a ball and shoving it into the palm of his other glove, hiding it from view and getting back to their practice match. He knew this couldn't be normal, and he definitely hadn't ate a flower this time he was sure of it.

But who do you call when you're vomiting up petals for no reason? Could a normal doctor have any clue of what that could be? Jeremy wasn't sure he was ready to go sound crazy to someone yet, and instead thought it was best if he just... forgot that anything was happening. He kept playing in the game, and for the remainder of the time on the court he seemed fine. Fine until he watched post game interviews from the side, watching Jean rip a reporter apart after an inappropriate question was slung at him. It made Jeremy smile, but then he wobbled on his feet, his legs feeling unsteady and uneven, like the ground was sucked into a whirlpool. But then the tickle started again and he willed his legs to move, to get him to the locker room where few Trojans would be, where he could vomit his petals up without questioning eyes.

He made it to the stall before he coughed and coughed, double amount of petals expelling from his mouth. He stared at them floating in the toilet, concern turning down his eyebrows as they traveled around the edges of the basin.

He was seriously hurt. This wasn't normal, people didn't go coughing up flower petals on the daily. Jeremy resigned to do some internet research before reaching out to a doctor, concerned that maybe it was all in his head and it was worse than just a small issue. He heard the door to the locker room open and he scrambled to get off the floor, harshly pulling the lever down to try and get the petals flushed down the toilet. The less evidence the better.

"Jeremy?" Jean called out to him, footsteps getting closer to the restroom doors.

"Yeah sorry I'm here! Just had to run to the bathroom real fast," he said as he left the stall, washing his hands. "What's up Jean?"

Jean looked at him confused, sure that he wasn't mistaken but Jeremy's distraction had him second guessing himself. "Aren't we going back to the dorm together? You promised me pizza tonight if we won."

"Yes! Absolutely!" he rushed over to his locker, "Let me just grab my things and then we can head over!"

Jean dismissed Jeremy's weirdness as a one-off, leaving the locker room they walked out in the lot towards Jeremy's Jeep. Jean climbed into the passenger seat, throwing his bag into the back. He had grown more comfortable as the year had passed by, feeling comfortable to change the radio station to something more appropriate for a winning drive back home, leaning back in his seat and spreading his legs too far apart practically leaning against the stick shift between them. He let his hand grab the rail of the jeep, knowing Jeremy didn't exactly drive with his passengers safety in mind - better than the way Kevin said Andrew drove at least. Jeremy smiled over at him before they took off, trying to quell the rising petals in his throat, but when Jean smirked at him as they pulled out of the lot Jeremy feared he'd loose it right there.

Jeremy wasn't the smartest, but he wasn't dumb by any means, he tried to sing along to the music as they wound there way through campus back to their shared suite. He had a suspicion that the flowers had something to do with Jean, they only appeared when he was around, and they seemed to be getting worse. He decided he really needed to spend some time online and see if anyone else had the affliction before he breathed a word about it to anyone. In the meantime he would just try to play it cool - as cool as he could. It was hard when Jean sang in his franglais, loud and deep as the wind cut through the open doors. Jeremy fought the urge to reach over and put his hand over Jean's.

Oh, that was new. He hadn't had that urge before.

He downshifted into second as he rolled into the dorm parking lot, grazing over Jean's leg that leaned too close to the gear shift. He didn't bother to apologize, knowing Jean wouldn't care as it was, Jeremy being one of the few who could casually touch Jean while not on an Exy court. It had taken time, but all the hours they had spent living together made it so Jeremy was in his trusted inner circle. It made warmth spread through his chest knowing that Jean actually trusted him. He suppressed his cough those rose up through his chest, willing the petals to go back down. Jean shot a concerned glace over to him as they pulled into a parking spot, Jeremy smiled at him as he shut off the car, reaching around to the backseat to grab out his own bag.

"Where do you want pizza from?"

"Your pick, you're buying."

Jeremy laughed. "Fine fine, toppings?" He pulled out his phone and opened his web browser to get onto their online ordering.

Jean shrugged, "Surprise me."

"I'm revoking your complaining license right now!" They walked up the sidewalk to the door front door, making their way up to their rooms. Jeremy grinned over at Jean, excited to just spend some more time with him tonight.

The pizza arrived and they ate with little fanfare, Jean didn't complain and then they settled on the couch to watch a movie, sharing the large throw they had, Jean resting his legs on the coffee table and Jeremy tucking them up under himself. They had put on one Jean hadn't seen yet, Jeremy trying to give Jean access to the world he had missed while in Evermore. Jeremy tried his best to stay awake, feeling his eyelids close with out his permission before he would jerk awake again. Eventually they closed and he didn't notice because he had drifted off to sleep fully.

He woke up to Jean talking on the phone, quietly, sounding incredibly close, whispering in French to whoever was on the other line. Jeremy blinked his eyes open, finding his head resting on Jean's shoulder. He slowly sat up and rubbed at his eyes. Jean bid farewell to the phone before he looked over to Jeremy.

"Sorry, I totally didn't mean to fall asleep, I guess I was more tired than I thought I was."

"It's ok, I let you sleep." he smiled at him as the credits rolled on the screen.

Jeremy could feel the petal bloom in his chest, he could feel them multiplying and threatening to spill out. He tired to push them down as he got up and turned off the TV. "I guess we should head to bed. You ok to clean up while I use the bathroom." he gestured to the pizza box on the table, mostly empty other than a slice. Jean nodded and watched as Jeremy walked away.

Jeremy sat on the edge of the tub, pulling out his phone and opening a browser. He need to search his symptoms, he needed to figure out what was happening.

He typed in the search bar "coughing up flowers" and tapped his toe as he waited for the results to load. The second result down looked promising, something called Hanahaki Disease. the page loaded after he clicked on it, only to see the words unrequited love. The only solutions for the disease being your love returning the desire, surgery, or death because the flowers will eventually suffocate the person. Jeremy sucked in a breath, willing the flowers down, trying to think of who they'd be for, who could he love and have no idea? Jeremy knew that he loved everyone with his whole heart, his exy team being the object of his affection, loving every single person on the team.

He moved to his messaging app to send a text to Alvarez.

J: Am I in love with someone?  
She replied back almost immediately.  
A: You're joking right?  
J: Um no, I think I might love someone but I don't know who? Ik it's weird to explain...  
A: Jeremy  
A: baby jer  
A: you've been in love with someone for MONTHS  
J: I have??  
A: do you know what love feels like?  
J: i feel love for you, and all of the team. It's warm, i want to make you all feel good.  
A: Oh sweet Jeremy.  
A: Just take a few and think about it. Who makes you smile, who do you want to spend time with, who makes your heart beat faster?  
A: who would you do anything for, as long as they asked.  
J:....

Jeremy sat on the edge of the tub and thought through the people in his life. He thought back to over the last few months trying to see who had impacted his life, he knew the exy team was top of the list, giving him the most joy out of his life on the daily. he also thought back on who he wanted to spend the most time with. The first person who popped in his head was Jean, they had to spend a lot of time together in the beginning when Jean had first arrived just due to the nature of the situation, but as time went on he just enjoyed spending time with Jean. He started to do things to see him smile, he wanted to spend free time with him just to hang around even if they weren't doing anything important.

Jeremy thought about how his heart beat a little faster whenever Jean was around and how he wanted sometimes, to just put his hand with Jean's...

J: omg  
A: here it comes  
J: I think it's Jean?  
J: Like, i'm pretty sure it's him.  
A: oh you think?  
A: *clapping  
A: i can't believe it took you this long you disaster bi  
J: i'm so dumb  
J: how could i not know my own feelings  
A: I don't know, because the whole team seems to know except for you two. Bunch of idiots  
A: and you're the biggest out of them all  
A: ❤️  
A: So are you going to tell him?  
J: I don't know, I did just find out myself after all.

He held the phone between his knees as he stared off at the far wall, whispering out Jean's name into the air. He almost didn't believe it but looking back it made sense, it happened so easily. It was just natural for them to drift towards one another after their break-in period. Jean seemed to find Jeremy entertaining enough that he liked to keep him around.

"Wow," he said to himself, "I can't believe it."

But then he thought back to the article, thought to the words unrequited and realized that his feelings weren't returned, that this was a one sided love. That nothing else was going to ever impact his life the way this was going to - that even if he confessed he'd still have to get surgery or die. He'd have to take time off exy, he'd have to look Jean into his eyes everyday and remember that he doesn't feel the same way. He thought that no matter what happened he'd still be just as miserable. The surgery sounded good. It was painful per the search engine articles, people saying that it worked but that they had to take a lot of time out of their lives. They woke up knowing they had the surgery, but didn't have their love for that person anymore, or the flowers.

Jeremy didn't know what to do. Alvarez would have him tell Jean. He was certain that's what she'd say, encouraging him to live in the moment and not hesitate. Jeremy didn't want to see him look at him any different., he liked the way Jean looked at him now, he liked the way that he would smile at him, sometimes even wink at him.

Jeremy was so screwed. He got up, putting his phone back in his pocket and flushing the toilet just so it didn't seem like he went into the bathroom to have a mental breakdown, even if that was the truth. He washed his hands and went back to their shared dorm bedroom, Jean was folding back the covers of his bed, black sweatpants on and no shirt. Jeremy felt his face flush as he glanced over at his roommate. He knew that he had found Jean attractive, this was even worse! Jean watched him come in and left to go to the bathroom Jeremy presumed. Jeremy took a moment to catch his breath, to change into some basketball shorts and crawl into his bed across the wall form Jean. He grabbed the book on his nightstand and plugged in his cell.

His night glasses were by his alarm clock, he put those and and turned his light to focus on his side of the bed. Jeremy was going to try his best to ignore the flowers that felt like they were climbing up his throat, felt like they were on the way to strangle him. Now that he knew it was his love for Jean he was having a hard time ignoring the ever present blooming in his chest. It was choking him even as he just lay there, he knew it wouldn't even take that long for him to start to feel it ever moment of the day, for him to start to feel like he was always gasping for air before entire flowers would escape passed his lips.

He sighed.

Jean came back in the room and laid in his own bed. He didn't bother to get out a book, and set his alarm to sleep mode, playing soft classical through their room like he had done every night. Jeremy didn't mind and it helped Jean get to sleep. He faced Jeremy and smiled at him as he wished him goodnight. He didn't curl his up under the blankets, but left his arms and shoulders out like it wasn't cold. Jeremy knew it wasn't cold to him, he knew California was much much warmer than it had been in the Nest. He knew that the nest was infamously not a fun, warm, welcoming place. Jean had told him not long after he had arrived in California. He had been there before but he hadn't spent a lot of time there. He didn't realize that it really was that warm all the time, that even in their ac'd dorm room he was always going to feel a little hot.

Jeremy wanted to snuggle up next to him, it wasn't exactly a new feeling, He had already wanted to do that before but it wasn't much different than what he wanted to do with all the people he was close to. He wanted to be physically close to them as well. But now he realized that his feelings for Jean, the desire to be close really did extend beyond that of his friends. He liked to spend time alone with Jean, and looking back he definitely made a bunch of excuses to casually touch him, a hand on his waist as he scooted passed him in the kitchen, putting a hand on his knee on the couch after he decided it was time for him to get up. He realized that he's been in love with Jean for far far longer than he realized. He only had a few months before he left for the pros and before Jean was spending a summer without him, and he didn't know what he was going to do about any of that if he even made it passed this Hanahaki Disease.

Jeremy hadn't been reading, he was staring at the same page that he had been on since he had started his book, the shadows from his lamp creating a cast over the page he was attempting. He bit his lip, trying to think of what he could do about his situation. He gave up on the book, marking his page and putting the glasses and it down on the table. He turned off the light and tried to listen to the music, to let it help him make a plan, to help him figure out what to do.

He fell asleep to the thoughts of being rejected by Jean over and over, still having to go through with the surgery because Jean didn't return his feelings.

\---

Jeremy awoke the next morning, feeling extremely tired but knowing he couldn't skip practice, knowing he had to go and lead his team and be just as excited as he was every day. The coughing started soon after, it wasn't a lot and it wasn't enough to force some petals up his throat, but there was still time. He climbed out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom, trying to get a quick shower down before he headed to practice, Jean was already in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. He nodded his head to Jeremy as he walked by and Jeremy half waved as he practically ran to the door.

Once inside he coughed enough that a smattering of petals flew from his lips. they covered his hands as he choked on them, trying to breathe through the deep red colored petals. He shut his eyes tight, trying to squeeze the tears from his eyes, trying to get rid of the feeling that Jean absolutely hated him.

He tossed them in the toilet and flushed, turning on the shower to let it start to warm as he shed his clothes and got under the spray. He allowed himself a minute to lose it, to let the tears fall down his face. He knew that he didn't have to keep it together when he was alone, but needed to when he was outside of the room. He needed to make sure he could put on his captain face, make sure that he could lead his team and guide them well. He didn't want to Jean look at him like he didn't know what he was doing, even if he maybe wasn't a more knowledgeable than anyone at Evermore, he did what he could with what he had. He loved the sport, he even got to play on Court. He was pretty sure he was at least a little qualified.

He sucked it up, finishing his shower and got dressed. He grabbed a cup of coffee to go as him and Jean got in his jeep to drive back to the stadium for morning practice. Jean was always quiet in the morning, offering nothing more than a few hand gestures as he fully woke up from what Jeremy could consider a night full of nightmares. Jeremy had always appreciated that Jean was a man of few words in the morning, but this morning it was more difficult, this morning seemed like it was much harder, Jeremy needed voices other than his own to fill the space between them. Jeremy didn't think he could make it through the day.

But he was proven wrong, some good nature teasing form Alvarez on and off the court that morning had put him into a better mood, even including the teasing about Jean. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he was going to try and hold out for a little bit longer.

\---

Drafts for the pros happened only a few days later, as tradition dictated the entire team came to the conference. Jeremy was nervous. Despite him being a top seed, despite his Court appearance, he still feared that he'd be not be picked quickly,. He didn't want to be last, he didn't want to be unwanted. His team had told him that was crazy, that he was definitely going to be picked quickly. It was nice that some of the other teams had very few fifth years, most schools not getting on board with an Exy team until too late. He was happy he didn't have to contend with Kevin, or even with Jean, he didn't think he'd fair well in that battle.

He sat nervously up on the panel, in his best suit and tie as each pro coach and player was called up to go. The pool of qualified draft picks wasn't the largest but it also wasn't small. Jeremy had some stiff competition and he still wanted to go to a good team, even though he knew he could play with pretty much anyone. First pick when to a lottery winner, a team from Ohio that Jeremy wasn't greatly familiar with, they weren't one of the top placers and he didn't remember them needing to recruit a new striker. They chose a backliner from Texas before the next lottery winner came up. They were a decent team from Nebraska, a new-ish team that had a good grassroots effort. Jeremy was passed over for this team as well, they were in need of a second goalie and they jumped on the chance to pick one.

The third lottery team was the Raiders from Las Vegas. They had somehow ended up in the lottery portion even though they had a solid team and seemed really good. Jeremy hoped that they chose him, but they went with a woman who was a decent all-rounder player, focusing on backliner and defensive dealer as her positions. Jeremy knew that wasn't really his thing, he could play all the positions ok, but nothing like her. It came time for the fourth pick, who was typically one of the one's who didn't make it to the playoffs the previous year. The New York Knights' Coach approached the mic, he looked prepared, he looked pleased. Jeremy knew a bit about them, he knew they were moderately tempered, they flew under the radar but had taken the cup just a few years back. It seemed like they needed to just fill a couple of spots to get back to that glory.

Jeremy swallowed nervously. It would be a good team for him, he would fit in well but it was so far from California. From his friends, his family, his team... He was nervous as fuck. The coach cleared his throat and waiting for the commission to speak.

"And for the NY Knights we have Coach Dixson. Who is your draft choice?"

"The Knights would like to welcome Jeremy Knox from USC to our team."

Jeremy looked like a deer in the headlights, for a moment completely unsure that he did just hear his name. His table mate nudged his leg under the table where it couldn't be seen, moving to clasp him on the back and encourage him to go up and shake the coaches hand. He stood, still shocked but put on his smile.

He just got drafted into the professionals. A decent team.

He met the coach up at the podium and shook his hand, thanking him at the same time.

"Welcome to the team, Knox. You were our unanimous choice and I hope that you're pleased." Jeremy could barely hear him over the sound of the crowd. He shook his head, still a little shocked at the outcome of the draft. To be picked even top five was amazing and Jeremy had never envisioned himself there. "Go celebrate with your team and then come meet me in the Knights conference room?"

"Absolutely!" Jeremy shook his hand again before darting off to where all 28 of the Trojan's were waiting. He walked over to them faster than he had every walked inside a building not on a court before. By the time he saw Jean's tall stature he was almost there, busting through the crowd to get to his friends who held various signs with his name on them and encouraging phrases. As soon as he crested the edge of the crowd he was bowled into by Alvarez, she wrapped her arms around his waist and picked him up, twirling him around as he kicked out his legs with a big smile on his face. As soon as she set him back on his feet he found himself gathered into a big group hug, with Laila and Jean closest to them. Rheman sat back with a smile on his face. If any one pointed out the tear sliding down his cheek he would have denied it - but Jeremy was one of his most favorites that he ever coached and it was bitter sweet to see him move on.

The group disbanded to watch the remainder of the draft, they had one more Trojan on the fifth year line and Jeremy was just as nervous for him that he was for himself. He watched in anticipation as he stood between Jean and Alvarez, feeling like every moment he was there he was vibrating out of his skin. Jones, the other Trojan, was picked in the second round, still pretty good for any college player. They celebrated similarly to Jeremy's win, a little sad that his teammate was going to Washington State instead of somewhere close. He didn't know anyone on the team in New York and he was a little nervous but knew he could make friends anywhere.

After the draft picks were completed he left his team to go to the New York Knights' conference room to meet with the Manager, Coach, and probably the Captain of the team. He knocked on the door and let himself in after a voice from inside called out to him. He walked in, head held high, and made his way to sit down across from the men at the table, where they motioned to a free chair.

"Gentlemen." he nodded at them.

"Mr. Knox, it is a pleasure to welcome you to the New York Knights. I think you will fit in with our team pretty fabulously, you see we share many values with that of the Trojans, and we have to say we absolutely loved what you've done these last two years with the Trojans as their Captain." the coach spoke, looking at him intently.

The manager drew up to the table, "We have drawn up a preliminary contract. We know you're not set to sign it right this moment, we recommend a lawyer looking it over as well as giving you the opportunity to read through it yourself. We're pretty similar to the Trojans in a lot of ways, but we are a professional team and you will see there are some differences."

Jeremy nodded his head, taking the large stack of papers that were slid over to his side of the table. He looked down at the top page and couldn't believe his eyes - Contract for 5 years, Jeremy Knox for New York Knights - it didn't feel real. It all felt too good to be true.

"As soon as the college term is done you can start accepting contracts for endorsements if you choose. Our training camp also starts only a few weeks later down in Arizona. What do you think?"

"Do I have to live in New York?"

"You don't have to, but it would be recommended. Our practice schedule is more your day to day job and you will spend a lot of time at our practice facility throughout the week. It's a lot to commute, even if it's from Jersey. I can have Harris, our Captain here, get you with some decent apartments that don't break the bank. Also very secure for our type of work."

Harris shook Jeremy's hand, exchanging pleasantries across the table. "Yeah that would be great, thank you." He looked down at the papers on the table again. "When would you like these returned?"

"We're fine with the end of next week. We know it's a big step. Take your time and really read through it! A pro contract is a bit more red tape than the collegiate ones."

"Thank you so much for the opportunity."

"We couldn't be more pleased to be able to snag you, you're a fantastic striker and a great captain. You'll do great things with the Knights, Jeremy. We will be in contact," the table stood, Jeremy followed suit and moved to take the contract from the table., His hands were nervous and he could feel the ever present flowers in his throat start to wiggle their way up. the urge to cough was growing and he quickly excused himself.

He made it out the door before the coughing started, more petals than ever before falling form his lips to the floor. Instead of worrying about them and cleaning them up he made a bee line down the hall to where he knew the Trojans were waiting.

He was going to New York.

He was drafter by a Pro team.

He was going to be on the opposite side of the country from Jean for at least a year.

He made it to only a few feet before them before he fell on the floor in a clump.

\---

Jeremy came to laying down over several plastic chairs that it looked like his team had gathered. Most of them had stayed far enough back, not wanting to crowd over him. His three closest friends were next to him, concern written on their features as he started to sit up.

"Whoa Jer, stay laying for a few."

"Jeremy, we're waiting for the medic to get here."

"What happened?" he asked, putting the heel of his hand to his forehead.

"You made it in the room and then passed out. Right on the floor like a pile of bricks. I've never seen anything like it in real life." Alvarez was holding his contract in her hands, rolling it up into a tight roll.

"I got drafted."

Jean laughed. "Of course you did."

"I was first non-lottery pick."

Laila put her hand on his shoulder, "Yes you were."

"I have to move to New York," he said as he looked out over the room. Everyone was giving them space and no one was paying them any attention.

Alvarez nodded. "You do. But it's not like we won't all be a phone call away, or Skype, or a plane ride. You will still see us. Plus you need to come out to our games and cheer us on." she had hit the nail on the head. She knew exactly what he was so upset about, not having been away from California his entire life.

He thought about leaving Jean and the tightness in his throat worsened. "I think I'm going to be sick." he put a hand to his mouth, trying to repress the petals from surfacing.

Jean wasted no time, hoisting Jeremy up into his arms and leading them down to the bathroom. It seemed like the room cleared for him, like he had the power to will people away without ever saying anything. He pushed the door open and lead Jeremy to a stall. He was placed down more gently than he thought anyone could do. He felt Jean kneel down next to him as he gripped at the side of the toilet. despite his desire to keep it a secret he couldn't stop the torrent of the petals that fell from his lips. He gasped for breath as he coughed up another round of petals. For the first time he passed a few leaves, they looked familiar but Jeremy couldn't place them before a soothing hand was rubbing over his back as he gasped for air over the toilet.

If Jean noticed anything strange he didn't say anything yet. Jeremy had thought the petals stopped there flow and he let himself take a few breaths in.

"Jeremy?" The question hung in the air between them, it was just his name but he knew that wasn't all it was. Jean had seen the petals, he knew his secret.

"It's fine." he waved him off, not wanting him to worry.

"It's not fine, you're throwing up actual petals and leaves. What's going on?"

"It's nothing-" he tried to spit out but was interrupted by another coughing fit. This one felt different, felt way more intense and painful. Jeremy gripped the toilet harder as he leaned forward, his whole body reacting to the pull from his stomach. He felt like sharp pieces scraping up his esophagus, pulling hard at his insides as he hacked and coughed a full rose. It landed in the water with a solid plop, Jean leaning over Jeremy's shoulder to see what happened.

"Jeremy, who are they for?"

Of course Jean would know about Hanahaki. Of course he would know exactly what was going on. Jeremy shut his eyes tight, letting his breathing catch up to normal, wishing that this was all just part of his bad dream last night and that he would wake up. He spit a few times in the toilet, letting the blood mix with the water as he ran his tongue over his teeth sucking as much out of his mouth that he could manage.

"Can you not tell?" his voice was horse, raspy with the pain of having thorns drag up his entire windpipe. He was going to ache for days if he ever made it out of the bathroom alive.

"Tell me," Jean urged. Letting his hand rest on Jeremy's shoulder, pulling him to face him.

"They're for you." Jeremy felt like he was going to die. He knew that Jean knew what he was admitting. He knew that he just told him that he loved him so much and that he knew that Jean didn't return his feelings in the slightest.

Jean looked at Jeremy like he had lost his mind. "For me?"

"Yeah, i'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I know you don't feel the same way, I know that it's going to make everything awkward. I'll have to be out to get the surgery and I'll get someone to be there for you because I know it's still hard for you to be alone-"

"Jeremy," Jean interrupted putting his hand over his mouth to stop the rapid fire words, "Cervelle de petit pois. I'm sorry." He didn't let his hand off Jeremy's mouth so he had to settle with raising his eyebrow. "It's not un-reciprocated. Do you think I let just anyone touch me? Do you think that I spend time with anyone else like I spent time with you? Do you think that I touch you like I do and it means nothing?"

Jean removed his hand to let Jeremy get a few words in. "Well yeah, you're recovering from your time at Evermore. You're learning how to be yourself and open up and be around people who you can be at ease with. Of course I think it means nothing. Jean I'm in love with you and want to be with you."

"You're an idiot," Jean sat on the tiled floor with him, putting their knees together as they leaned against opposite stall walls. "A beautiful stupid idiot."

"Idiot and stupid are practically the same thing," Jeremy trailed off, so used to helping correct Jean's English that he didn't even think about it.

"I know that, moron! You're just so dumb and blind I have to say it twice. Yes, in the beginning I was just trusting in you because you were the safest one. You helped me heal, you helped me be around other people. But it's so much more than that with us, yeah? I don't cuddle on the couch with anyone else, I don't try to drop subtle hints to anyone else, and I definitely don't let anyone else sleep on my shoulder. you're an exception to my defenses and always have been." 

"Oh."

"Yeah oh. I can't believe you." Jeremy rubbed at his chest, still feeling like the flowers were invading, like they could rise up at any moment.

"Why does it not feel any better? What happens when I go away?"

"Oh mon chou, you don't believe it yet, do you?" Jean glared at him, no hint of his next move on his face. It was like he looked on the exy court, unreadable, impassible, a total defense with no tells. 

"I mean no, it's a little far fetched still in my brain."

"Let me show you then," Jean didn't wait for Jeremy to react, instead positioned himself up in front of Jeremy, grabbing his tie and pulling him forward until their lips met. Jeremy's eyebrows ended up in his hairline, shocked and amazed that the man he loved was kissing him on the bathroom floor. He didn't prod, didn't push for more, just let their lips press against one another as he held him close with the necktie. 

After Jean was satisfied he got his point across he let Jeremy pull back, loosening his grip on the tie. Jeremy opened his eyes slowly, not ready to wake up from the dream in front of him. 

"What about now," Jean whispered between them.

Jeremy took a few deep breaths gathering his thoughts, seeing if the constricting feeling was gone. It seemed that all it took was some forceful words and a kiss for him to be free of the feeling of suffocation. He felt like a princess and Jean was his Prince Charming. 

"I think they're gone. You really feel that way?"

"God, I feel in love with a moron." Jean said, rolling his eyes up into his head, but he had a small smile on his lips.

Jeremy laughed at him, his voice horse as he cleared his throat. "I guess you did. So what happens now?"

"Well I for one would like to get off this bathroom floor, then go celebrate you getting drafted to the pros."

"I meant with us. You and me." he gestured between them like Jean wouldn't understand.

"If you'd let me I'd like to take you out for real, as in a date. And then we can decide without the pressure of all these petals if you actually like me or not."

"I don't think I need a date for that."

"Hmm. let's just do it my way." He stood up and held out a hand for Jeremy to grab to help him up. It reminded him of the court and how many times Jean had picked him up after a particularly nasty hit. It was more times than he could count. 

"Fine." he smiled at him as they walked out the bathroom together. If anyone noticed that they were standing closer together than normal they didn't mention it. 

\---

"So what's the verdict?" Jean asked as they walked back into their dorm, removing his hoodie after the doorway not needing it in the warmth of their rooms. 

"I can say with full conviction that I still absolutely love you, Jean Moreau." Jeremy reached out his hand, expecting Jean to take it into his own. He did, using it to pull Jeremy closer. 

"Hmm that's a relief since I love you." He pulled him closer, pressing his lips to his in a short kiss. 

"Date me?"

"Thought you'd never ask." Arms wrapped around Jeremy, squishing him into Jean's expansive chest as he swayed them back and forth in the middle of their kitchen. 

"But what happens when I move to New York? Do we have an exploration date?"

"Do you think a country can keep me away from you? Do you think that I won't make the effort to be with you?"

"I'm just worried. What about when you're drafted to the pros next year and it's even harder to see you."

"You have no faith Jer. The amount of effort you put into friends ships will bleed over into this. I have no worries that we'll be just as strong as ever, even with you being a six hour flight away."

"But will you be happy?"

"No one could replace you even if they tried." He squeezed him harder, trying to convey his promise through the touch. 

\---

Jeremy couldn't wait to see jean, couldn't wait to see the outcome of the draft. He had flown out and just barely made it to the conference center before the picks started, he didn't even have time to stop by and say hi to Jean. He spotted the Trojans and made his way over, excited to watch his boyfriend and his two best friends get drafted all at once. Rheman gave him a crushing hug as soon as he saw him.

"Knox, it's so good to see you. Happy you could make it to see your friends draft."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world coach," he smiled bright, directing his attention back to jean at the table in the front of the room. 

Jeremy had tried to keep his opinion of who his team should draft to himself, but they had had a meeting a few weeks ago where they went over the gaps in their line as well as who fit their line, values and talent. The pool this year was much harder than the pool during Jeremy's year. Most of the well known fox players were up for draft including Kevin Day. Jeremy would have been worried had he been up in Jean's position, but he knew his boyfriend was as cool as he could be, knowing he would get drafted no matter what - he had played spectacularly over the last two years and had recovered from his Raven image. Jeremy knew his team needed a backliner but had no idea if they had listened to his pleas of why Jean was the one they needed.

He held his breath through the lottery picks, Strikers were the hot need this year as a few had retired already from Pro Exy and teams were short their minimum five they typically had. Unlike Fox-style play the pro's preferred to have several striker starters, they didn't want them to wear themselves down and it was better to have more to choose from than to run them ragged, let alone have them run full halves. Jeremy shook his head thinking of the Foxes and their wild and yet fun team. He had fond memories of them. 

Jean was passed over in the lottery draft, Kevin had been picked up first which was no surprise to anyone in the room. Even if you didn't need a striker you needed Kevin Day. His presence alone earned you more ticket sales and money. Jeremy fiddled with his thumbs as the first non-lottery draft went, picking a goalie from a team he wasn't too familiar with. The Knights were three picks away, he hoped that Jean somehow missed everyone's radar until then. 

The next three picks went fast, Laila actually getting picked before either of her teammates, the Colorado team needing another goalie something fierce as one of their starters had ended up getting banned from professional exy. The Trojan's cheered extremely loud as she made her way to the podium. She accepted the coaches hand with a smile and winked back at her girlfriend before walking off stage. 

Jeremy sucked in a breath as he watched his coach go up to the podium, Jean was still up there but so were several other backliners. He clenched his fists as he spoke into the mic. "Good evening, the New York Knights would like to extend an offer to Jean Moreau of the USC Trojans."

Jeremy leapt up into the air with excitement, unable to contain how happy his coach has just made him. Jean walked slowly up to the podium, looking relieved with the outcome of his recruitment. He already knew what type of money he could be making, plus endorsements and he wasn't really worried about his debt to the Moriyama's. It was one of the things that Jeremy and Jean had discussed about their future as it got closer to draft time, the fear that if Jean wasn't drafted for some unknown reason that he would no longer be valuable to the Moriyama's and would be taken out just like was promised to Neil. Jeremy vowed to never let something like that happen to Jean but it seems the fears were no longer a worry. 

Jean shook his coaches hand and they had a few words before he came down the stages stairs over to the Trojan group. He bypassed everyone to pick up Jeremy in a swirling hug. As he let him down he pulled his face to his own, pressing their lips together in a kiss full of smiles. 

"Hope you don't mind me joining you in New York, mon chou."

"I would never." Jeremy smiled at him, letting him move away so the team could congratulate him. Once they calmed down they watched Alvarez get drafted only a state away from Laila, which would be good for them since they had been together for the last three years. Jeremy was happy for them, happy for his whole team.

He couldn't believe how full his heart felt in comparison to the suffering he had felt the year before. He couldn't believe how well everything had played out.

\---

Jeremy answered the door to his flat in loose sweatpants and no shirt, being awoken out of bed. He rubbed his eyes before seeing it was Jean at the door. "Jean!" He pulled him forward for a kiss before pulling back confused. "I thought you weren't here until tomorrow?"

"I decided to come a day early and surprise you. Movers are here tomorrow, how about we go back to bed," he asked as Jeremy ran his arms around his torso, resting his head on his chest. 

"Yes I think that's the best idea you've ever had." he smiled up at him before leading him through the flat quickly, ready to climb back into bed, ready to wrap himself around his boyfriend as they celebrated their first official day in the apartment together. 


End file.
